Feeling suicidal? call me
Meet some ‘soothe sayers’ who help students appearing for Boards survive exam stress
By Yogesh Avasthi and Beena Kuruvilla
Posted On Saturday, March 14, 2009 (Ahmedabad Mirror : http://www.ahmedabadmirror.com/index.aspx?Page=article§name=News%20-%20City§id=3&contentid=20090314200903140304154912c1dc383)
It’s evening and K D Raval is busy on the phone. Seated at a BPO, his caller is not a client from the UK. It’s a Board student who is at the end of his tethers. The teen’s parents talk of nothing but the forthcoming exams. Though he scored brilliantly in his past exams, the Std XII student has started hating the pressure. And, the only solution he could think of to beat the stress is killing himself. The s-word makes Raval alert.
He knows the next few seconds are crucial. Relying on his former years as a school principal, he calms down the student and listens to the boy’s woes. Step by step, the counsellor tells the student that an exam is not a futile exercise, but a celebration of his knowledge. The student gets the point and Raval breathes a huge sigh of relief.
Daily battles
He has won one battle, but the war is not over yet. Everyday, Raval and his teammates field 1,100 calls at the GSHSEB toll-free helpline 1800-233-5500 from 8 am to 8 pm. “I have received three ‘suicide calls’ this year. The other two students lead a miserable domestic life. Their parents kept fighting with each other. Combined with exam stress, it was too much for the teens to handle,” says Raval.
He advised the kids to concentrate on their studies and put aside their parents’ squabbles for a few days. “I asked them to study away from home — at the school library or a park where they were not distracted by the goings-on at home. They realised there was hope yet. Today, I call them morning, noon and night almost everyday to follow up their progress. Even when I am at home, I keep thinking about the students who call us for help,” says Raval.
Counselling parents
The calls are confidential and its content never revealed. But the counsellors do get in touch with parents of such children and advise them on the right way in handling the kids. The counsellor feels that kids who contemplate such extreme measures are neither loved nor appreciated at their homes. “During exam times, the only talk they hear is Board, Board, Board.
It scares them. They forget they have appeared for over 28 exams right from Std I and have done well in all. Most students complain of recall problems and fear they would suffer memory loss at the exam centre,” he says, adding: “Parents need to chill. They cannot live in denial of their child’s abilities. Unrealistic parental expectations is what crushes a child. Be a friend, or even a co-partner. If the child feels tired, read out the lessons to him instead of forcing him to go on. Our helpline can be accessed till three days after exams to help even those who feel they have not performed well at Boards.”
Listen and empathise Volunteers at the counselling centre launched by CU Shah College and Navjyoti Charitable Trust are a busy lot, too. Eleven youths man telephone numbers (9974087178, 9227255377, 32450001) while an equal number hold personal counselling. They also have volunteers holding counselling sessions at schools.
“We use the listen, accept, reassure and empathise technique to draw out students. Most of the time, they just need a patient ear. Someone who will talk to them about anything but exams !” says professor Dipak Shah of C U Shah College. The centre receives 45-55 calls a day. Says Rinku, a volunteer, “Many a times, the same student calls up twice or thrice a week just to talk and unwind. It goes a long way in beating stress.”
Helping handsThe helpline has been running for 10 years now, but these volunteers have not received any suicide calls till now. “The problems are typical — from not being able to cope with exam pressure, not being able to memorise matter to finding it difficult to solve mathematical problems,’’ says psychologist Deepak Gohil.
The volunteers even received a call from a school in Kutch where the principal had lined up 40 students for tele-counselling. “That call lasted for four hours. We even get calls from Mumbai,” he said. The stressbusters range from meditation to relaxation techniques, from organising one’s schedule to writing down the answers as a concentration tool. The counsellors even advise the children to eat and sleep on time to score well. “There are many who burn their nerves along with the midnight oil. This takes a toll on E-day,” says volunteer Avni.
By Yogesh Avasthi and Beena Kuruvilla
Posted On Saturday, March 14, 2009 (Ahmedabad Mirror : http://www.ahmedabadmirror.com/index.aspx?Page=article§name=News%20-%20City§id=3&contentid=20090314200903140304154912c1dc383)
It’s evening and K D Raval is busy on the phone. Seated at a BPO, his caller is not a client from the UK. It’s a Board student who is at the end of his tethers. The teen’s parents talk of nothing but the forthcoming exams. Though he scored brilliantly in his past exams, the Std XII student has started hating the pressure. And, the only solution he could think of to beat the stress is killing himself. The s-word makes Raval alert.
He knows the next few seconds are crucial. Relying on his former years as a school principal, he calms down the student and listens to the boy’s woes. Step by step, the counsellor tells the student that an exam is not a futile exercise, but a celebration of his knowledge. The student gets the point and Raval breathes a huge sigh of relief.
Daily battles
He has won one battle, but the war is not over yet. Everyday, Raval and his teammates field 1,100 calls at the GSHSEB toll-free helpline 1800-233-5500 from 8 am to 8 pm. “I have received three ‘suicide calls’ this year. The other two students lead a miserable domestic life. Their parents kept fighting with each other. Combined with exam stress, it was too much for the teens to handle,” says Raval.
He advised the kids to concentrate on their studies and put aside their parents’ squabbles for a few days. “I asked them to study away from home — at the school library or a park where they were not distracted by the goings-on at home. They realised there was hope yet. Today, I call them morning, noon and night almost everyday to follow up their progress. Even when I am at home, I keep thinking about the students who call us for help,” says Raval.
Counselling parents
The calls are confidential and its content never revealed. But the counsellors do get in touch with parents of such children and advise them on the right way in handling the kids. The counsellor feels that kids who contemplate such extreme measures are neither loved nor appreciated at their homes. “During exam times, the only talk they hear is Board, Board, Board.
It scares them. They forget they have appeared for over 28 exams right from Std I and have done well in all. Most students complain of recall problems and fear they would suffer memory loss at the exam centre,” he says, adding: “Parents need to chill. They cannot live in denial of their child’s abilities. Unrealistic parental expectations is what crushes a child. Be a friend, or even a co-partner. If the child feels tired, read out the lessons to him instead of forcing him to go on. Our helpline can be accessed till three days after exams to help even those who feel they have not performed well at Boards.”
Listen and empathise Volunteers at the counselling centre launched by CU Shah College and Navjyoti Charitable Trust are a busy lot, too. Eleven youths man telephone numbers (9974087178, 9227255377, 32450001) while an equal number hold personal counselling. They also have volunteers holding counselling sessions at schools.
“We use the listen, accept, reassure and empathise technique to draw out students. Most of the time, they just need a patient ear. Someone who will talk to them about anything but exams !” says professor Dipak Shah of C U Shah College. The centre receives 45-55 calls a day. Says Rinku, a volunteer, “Many a times, the same student calls up twice or thrice a week just to talk and unwind. It goes a long way in beating stress.”
Helping handsThe helpline has been running for 10 years now, but these volunteers have not received any suicide calls till now. “The problems are typical — from not being able to cope with exam pressure, not being able to memorise matter to finding it difficult to solve mathematical problems,’’ says psychologist Deepak Gohil.
The volunteers even received a call from a school in Kutch where the principal had lined up 40 students for tele-counselling. “That call lasted for four hours. We even get calls from Mumbai,” he said. The stressbusters range from meditation to relaxation techniques, from organising one’s schedule to writing down the answers as a concentration tool. The counsellors even advise the children to eat and sleep on time to score well. “There are many who burn their nerves along with the midnight oil. This takes a toll on E-day,” says volunteer Avni.
